Pickup Blogs

My self-imposed focus on work that lasted a majority of January-early April has yielded me a very likely promotion within the next few months. Most of you guys know that I am part of (and mostly enjoy) corporate America. This means that it’s very likely that I am going to be leaving Boston within 6 months (that’s being generous). Boston is an option for me to further my career, but not with the speed in which I would like to do so.

I’ve thought really long and hard about staying in Boston versus moving to another brand new city. I’ve documented fairly extensively what it was like for me to set up a life here, and it only really got great after a year. (Just around the time when I moved into BAB). It’s been about 9 months since then, it’s been a ton of fun. However, every time I’ve pushed myself into what was going to be a difficult life choice, I’ve always come out of it much better off. Challenging myself is very important and necessary. Moving to a new city is never easy, requires time for adjusting, involves finding new friends and things to do, and is in general a huge pain in the ass. This is a list of pros and cons.

Cons:
- Having to build a new social circle
- Having to start over a again
- Leaving the game & my wings behind (perhaps my biggest reason to want to stay)
- Where I’m moving is colder than Boston
- No good male friends where I’m headed

Pros:
- True Independence
- Putting my career on the fast-track
- Controlling my own destiny
- Experiencing a brand new city
- Living in a brand new part of the country
- New way of living
- New experiences
- A work based social circle (also a bit of a con because of the inclusive nature)

Within the past few months, my game has really stagnated. It’s directly correlated to one core issue, I haven’t been going out as much as I should have been.

There have been other issues as well (post coming shortly on another), and I think another big one for me has been my dependency on wings. I’ve been really dependent on other people. There have been nights where I stayed in (because I pussied out) because I couldn’t find guys going out. Going to a new city would FORCE me to go out and learn this skillset by myself. It would make me get good on my own. It’s almost as if part of me thought that moving into a project would make me better by osmosis, but what I’ve come to realize that my own growth is in my own hands. Entropy and Big aren’t going to make me get better, and while they care about me getting better, they can’t make it happen for me. Only I can do that. Only I can decide to approach, etc. There can be as much motivation as possible, and even if I am physically pushed into set, only I can choose to open my mouth or walk away.

The big difference between moving now and moving to Boston is that I am much more confident in my skills now than I was when I moved here (and I’ll also have a natural social circle there – mostly female but that’s NEVER a bad thing).

I’ve made the decision that if I am offered a promotion in another city, I am going to take it. It’ll be hard to leave you guys behind, but those of you that really matter and the ones that have had a huge impact on me and I am on them other will stay friends for life. I’m not one to play it safe, and staying here would be playing it safe. Expanding my comfort zone has NEVER hurt me.

“Human nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same wornout soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth.” ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

ps. Hello to my (presumably) only lady reader, tell your man I say hi.