Pickup Blogs

In most of my life, I haven’t really met any super naturals. I knew a few guys back in college who were pretty solid, but I didn’t know them well enough to really get to know what their game was like or observe them.

I’ve been excited to meet people out here, because a bunch of my co-workers who found out I am single told me I needed to meet “theNatural” because he gets laid like a fucking rockstar. I always wanted a natural to go out with and watch, but I have to say I was disappointed from a game perspective.

I’ve met him a few times, but he last night was the first time I got to hang out with him in a smaller group of guys. First off, he’s like 6′1” and built and very good looking. The thing that sucks is that he just stands around and waits for girls to come to him, and then he goes home with whoever hits on him. I was hoping he’d be some really ugly fat guy with incredible game. That’s not to say I can’t learn a ton from this guy. His body language is pretty incredible, and his frame is rock solid as well. He’s in his mid-to-late thirties, and he told me that he never takes girls to his place because he doesn’t want them to know where he lives. Which to me has always been the sign of a guy who doesn’t leave girls better than how he found them/manages expectations because he has some fear of retribution or stalking. I overheard him talking about how he has a rotation of 4, and it’s too much to handle. I didn’t see him open or approach any girls, but I saw him get opened a few times. Trust me, while I might sound like I am hating, I am not. There’s definitely some jealousy there because I rarely get approached, but I was hoping to find a solid wingman to run game with, but this guy seems like wouldn’t be able to explain what he’s doing.

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Speaking of wingmen, I went out with a group of guys last night, and for the first time since I’ve been in town we were all out without any girls. Most of the guys I was with were hardcore value seekers, scanning the room looking for girls to talk to instead of having a good time. Only one guy I was with talked to any girls that he approached vs. getting approached. One of my closer buddies was opened by a super fattie, and got dragged over to their table. He gave me the look of “please vishnu come save me” so I went over to bail him out. It was another friend’s birthday, so I offered to buy them both shots at the bar, but the fattie interjected that they were buying them some. Damn, someone wants to get laid. So about 35 minutes later he finally leaves the table.

I’m with my group, and this 3-set rolls by with these bright green drinks, so I stop them and ask them what they are drinking. The conversation flows, and I am getting IOIs from all 3 girls. I’ve picked my target, but I am managing all three. I’m not really used to managing all three girls at once, because generally in the past I would have a wingman come in and occupy some of the friends, but I did a solid job. I can see how guys go out solo and get girls. I hypothesize that solo game on a three-set would be somewhat easier to pull from because you are leaving the two friends to talk, but I digress. Either way, none of the other 5 guys I was with came in. My target was a 7.5, there was a fat friend probably a 5 and another 7.5. Here’s what really threw me, the birthday boy was about to join me in set, when I overheard my friend tell him “keep walking.” In a few short minutes, I walked away from these girls, one in particular that I had hit it off with and definitely would have hooked up with only because my friend didn’t give me his approval. Instead of being a man and going after my desires, I pandered to my ego. Because I didn’t want my ego hurt by my new friends. It’s funny because it shouldn’t matter, but it did. At least I recognize it though.

And here’s the real kicker, I forgot just how judgmental people can be. In the last year or so, I’ve surrounded myself with friends who want nothing but the best for me and want me to be the best person I can be. There was always a halo of positivity and happiness. I’ve generally removed myself from anything remotely cancerous. When I got out here, I asked most people what the dynamics within the larger group were – who likes each other/who has drama/ etc. Everyone told me everything was great, everyone loves each other, etc etc. Well, after everyone has a few drinks, that’s completely not true. The floodgates open, and you see people for what they really are. And most of them are SO negative it’s incredible. They whine and complain, but they never offer solutions. Let me say one of the best tips I got early in life, if you are going to complain about something you have any amount of control over or influence in, you should offer at least 3 solutions. This is the difference between someone people want to be around (or work with) or not. There will always be problems, but are you the type of person to help resolve or solve them or do you just talk about them all day? The big challenge for me is going to be able to keep a steady and positive outlook while being surrounded by some negativity.

I digress, but my point was that many people judge because they themselves are afraid. Him saying “keep walking” shouldn’t have swayed me at all, but it did. I’m glad I noticed it, and after getting to know him better, I know to keep on being me and going after what I want, not what someone else says.

Either way, I opened another set later on situationally, but I didn’t stick too far past, even though one girl was giving me some IOIs while the other was kinda standoff-ish. I choded out.

We bounced to another bar, but we ran into two groups of girls we knew and that limited my meeting new women. There were a few girls dancing that I wanted to meet, but I was paralyzed. I think just getting back into the swing of things and opening girls now will get me back up to speed. I haven’t done much meeting women here yet, but I feel the rust coming off. Back when I left Boston I was on fire, so it’ll take some time to get back there. I have to readopt the “no regrets” mindset, which was easily one of the more powerful frames I incorporated recently.

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Strippers need to learn how to sell. After the bars we went to a titty bar for the birthday boy, and it was pretty funny. These girls would come up to us and go “hi, want a dance.” Wow, way to make me feel sexy. But the thing is that works 90% of the time. This little asian stripper comes over to us and we are laughing really hard.

AsianStripper “What’s so funny?”
Me “Oh, we were just commenting on how funny it is that you guys just walk over and say ‘want a dance’ without anything else”
AsianStripper “Hahaha, you guys are so funny.”
Me “You guys need to sell a little bit more, play it a little sexier, be a little bit of a tease.”
AsianStripper “…so, you want a dance?”

LOL. At least she went for the close.

About a year ago, it would have been difficult to find Boston-based “PUAs” blogging, and tracking their progress. I was one of the few guys who started a massive trend, and as a thought leader, I like to think I inspired (or harassed) many of my friends to start blogging with me as a way to help us get better. I started my blog as a way for me, for me, to track my progress, write up field reports, and post my thoughts based around my in-field experience.

At some point during my time within the lair, I became well respected, and this fed my ego. There were guys looking up to me, asking me questions, telling me they wanted to be like me, starting to dress like me, and all of this other nonsense. At the time, it felt GREAT. Finally, I was getting the props I wanted about being some kind of pimp, which is hilarious because I was finally able to open random girls. It’s really hard for me to look back and think about the amount of trouble I used to have. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel tense at times, but it’s now out of my reality to go out to a bar at night and not talk to at least one or two random girls. My level of success was so low, but I was regarded as some kind of hot shot. The sad thing about the community is that most of the guys out there teaching are NOT great with women, the bar is set SO low.

Then a few other guys I knew got really good, and they started blogs. Then my blog got more popular because we all linked to each other, and then people would start commenting, and random guys would e-mail me asking for my help to get into the Lair. All of this stuff continued to feed my ego in an unhealthy way. This gave me tons of validation that some where in my brain tricked me into thinking that my level of success was higher than it actually was. I used to write up posts and then keep checking the lair every 20 minutes to see if everyone thought I was so great. I was reaction-seeking to the max, but the reactions would come, and they would be immensely positive. Guys would tell me they loved my stuff. (I eventually understood WHY guys liked me and my stuff, but it didn’t have to do with my skills with women.)

And there was a major problem in all of this. I wanted to achieve something just so that I could go around and show everyone else how I great I was. I wasn’t doing it for the girls, I was doing it to show off to other people. Not to be the best me, but to be better than other people.

I was out with my ex-roommate’s girlfriend shopping on one of my last days in Boston, and she knows all about the community. She asked me what I thought about everything, and I started talking freely, and then I cut myself off. I told her I wanted to think about it because I wanted to make sure I was clear in my opinion. She asked me to not do that, because she wanted my unaltered thoughts (what a great/smart girl!). What our conversation basically boiled down to was that I thought that most guys had one major problem: they were learning how to game because they wanted to prove something to someone else. It was always about the girls, and how everyone else would perceive them if they had the girl. I was (and on occasion still revert to) the guy who wanted the girls to show off. I made my journey all about the girls, all about impossible goals to reach, and all of this other stuff that doesn’t help you grow.

The guys who really find happiness (notice, this is way different from getting “good”) are the ones who make the journey about themselves and those who enjoy the game, not those who game just for show. It’s taken me a long time to get here, but this I am constantly reminding myself that this is about me. It’s about being the best me I can be, working on myself to be the healthiest, happiest, most productive, & challenged I can be.

I’m officially take back my blog. Since I am now removed from the Boston Lair and unnecessary adulation, I feel a certain freeness to just be me. I am going to take this blog back to its humble roots, back to when I wrote up reports and theory to help me get better, not for some ego gratification. I didn’t start blogging to have fans, or to use it as a marketing tool for an upcoming product launch, I used it to help me get better on my journey. I don’t know how often I’ll post, I doubt I’ll post LRs, but I do know this is going to help me become the most awesome motherfucker I can be.

I’ve been thinking about something earlier today, and I just read something that Beschatten wrote in response to a question that somebody asked that got me thinking even more.

“People lose sleep over a death, not a girl. Get a grip.” -Beschatten

Several years ago, when I was in middle school, I went through a completely negative and hateful goth phase. I wore all black, I hated the world, I hated myself, I hated my life. I was full of self-pity and believed that I’ve “been through a lot of shit.” Even nowadays people tell me that I seem very mature for my age and it seems that I’ve “been through a lot.”

I’ve begun to see that that is total bullshit. What have I been through? 30+ rejections in middle school may have left me in emotional turmoil to the point of fucked up depression, but these were all just GIRL ISSUES. How could I have been such a pussy to have been suicidal over GIRL ISSUES?

My parents stayed together. I was fed whenever I was hungry. I received (and am receiving) good education. I was provided with a plethora of extracurricular activities. I was never captured and tortured. I was never forced to endanger myself. I was never sexually abused. Hell, I’ve never even been GROUNDED (grounding isn’t a standard disciplinary method in Asian cultures). I haven’t been through shit. I haven’t ever been REALLY tested to earn manhood.

I was even disappointed at my performance at one point while I was pledging for Sigma Chi. I can’t reveal details as I am sworn to secrecy, but let’s just say that I could have been more of a man.

I’ve always thought that I’ve experienced a lot of the bad shit life has to offer, but what the fuck do I know? I’ve never had it THAT bad. I’ve just been a pussy when I was a kid. What do I know of real struggle?

I’ve been exposed to some pretty bad racism and other kinds of prejudice against me. I’ve had my heart broken by countless oneitises. I’ve had to go to court. I’ve had a friend die in a car crash. I’ve had a friend die of heart attack. My taekwondo grandmaster died of lung disease. I’ve had friends of friends commit suicide. I’ve had close friends ATTEMPT suicide. I’ve had issues with my parents. I’ve had issues with friends and girlfriends. I used to have a drinking problem. I used to be a chain smoker. Someone hacked into my Neopets account and took all my Neopoints. Someone stole my credit card information. Sure, I’ve been through all that, but can I really call that “a lot?” What do I know of REAL struggle?

Everything I have been through has been completely laughable compared to the shit my own father has been through, laughable compared to the shit people over in Darfur are going through, laughable compared to the shit people in communist nations have been through, laughable compared to the hunger that people in third world countries feel. I don’t have to fear for my life on a daily basis. I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to get my next meal. I don’t have friends and family dropping like flies left and right. I don’t have to worry about the government killing me for exercising my freedom of speech. I don’t have trees falling on me from lumber work and having to drive myself to a far-away hospital while half-paralyzed from the spinal impact (props to Sean Messenger and his family). I don’t have the world watching my every move as I try to achieve something no man has done before.

“I once cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man with no feet.” -Anonymous

Guys, we are all here to learn from each other, better our lives, and create solutions to our perceived problems. Keep a bigger picture in your minds, though, and know that any problem we may have with GIRLS… it’s really not that bad. It’s really no big deal. The struggle you face on the path of learning pickup is NOTHING compared to the struggles of REAL LIFE.

Real life turns you into a real man. Pickup can help, but it’s not the meat and potatoes. It’s just the seasoning.

I’m 18 years old, I have a head full of PUA knowledge, a resume of some solid field experience, but I haven’t seen nothin’ yet. I can’t wait to see what life has in store to REALLY test me. I can’t wait to face the hardships that life has to offer so I can develop some real, solid character. Time to step forward.

-Chief

Not that she (Kathy Griffin) is something too really look at, but come on dude (Steve Wozniak).

No hanky panky ???

You are a FREAKING BILLIONAIRE !!! You got rolled.

Kathy Griffin: “I never fucked him or anything!“

Hopefully, it’s just another one of her jokes.

I have been a bad blogger. Mainly because I have not sent a whole week in one location since October and plus just being plain lazy about writing. But during that time I made meet some interesting people that are involved in the social arts and learned alot and screwed up tons. Let’s get to blogging.

A lot of guys in the community talk about “having standards” because it’s a good ideal to follow. However, not enough guys actually look past their lustful physical desires to really identify what they’re looking for in the women they seek to have in their lives. So, I actually sat down and wrote a list of qualities that I’d like to see in the women I get involved with.

I’m looking for a woman who is… (in no order of importance)
> Open-minded
> Adventurous
> Respectful of others
> Caring
> Unselfish
> Compassionate
> Passionate about something
> Feminine
> A little weird in some way
> Openly bisexual
> Likes music and dancing
> Self-aware
> Doesn’t hold grudges
> Allows herself to live in the moment
> Not a communist

That’s my list for now. It’ll probably change as I experience more of life. If you don’t have a list, why not make one? It’ll at least let you prove to yourself that you actually do have standards.

-Chief

About a month ago, during my insanely crazy travel schedule, I decided to finally go through with quitting porn. I’ve talked about it for a while, but I haven’t had the willpower to go through with it. Somehow I just quit cold turkey and I haven’t watched any porn in about a month. Let me tell you, it feels fucking great. Porn used to be part of my routine, or I’d get really drunk and load tons of porn off of those evil streaming porno websites.

What’s happened since is pretty crazy, but my desire has shot through the roof. I want to have sex all the time. I’m still masturbating regularly, but I just want to bone all of these women all the time. However, it’s also been incredible weather lately and the amazing sundresses have come out. This is definitely adding to my desire. I am feeling great lately, and all I want to do is bone.

So there you go, ANOTHER person recommending you stop watching porn, and instead think about ravaging the last girl you met (or recreate one of your favorite personal sexy times from your vault). Give up porn, and enjoy the scattered skirts. Life’s good.

I recently spent some time in Seoul, South Korea so far during my summer vacation. It was a blast! I go to Korea all the time to visit family, but I never tasted the nightlife or anything fun about Korea until this time. I met a bunch of guys from the Korea Lair, which is very well organized and led by a PUA who goes by BlueMystery. I was very impressed by Korea Lair and I hope I can help make the New Orleans lair just as organized and motivated once I get back.

Sarging there was a fun experience like no other. Let me tell ya, the dive bars in Seoul are like the high-class bars in America. At least that’s what my impression was like. You can check out my FRs from my trip if you know where to find them.

One of the guys in Korea Lair told me that it’s a DHV to be American (novelty factor), and if you are from America and happen to be Korean by race, it’s even better because the girls feel safer and more comfortable by being with a guy who’s still Asian. At the same time, they’re still experiencing something new and foreign. I’m totally going to learn how to be fluent in Korean (my Korean sucks) and going back next year.

I used to always say that I don’t prefer Asian chicks, but now I have a whole new appreciation for them. I can’t wait to travel more. =)

-Chief

When you’re learning to get better with women as I am, there are many times where you internal state doesn’t match the image you project out. I was out with a few of my favorite people last night, and two of us started talking about the power of perception.

Here’s what I mean – you may have the outward projection of what girls would consider to be an “8″ but internally you feel like a “6.” The thing with this is at first glance women will see you as an “8.” What this boils down to is that you have great body language, you aren’t value seeking, and you look important. But tonight you may be “out of state,” and you’re just not feeling it. Or deep down you are having a hard time TRULY believing you are a 10.

What happens next is that you feel like a “6″ and you approach a girl that’s a “7″ and you decide to neg her so that you guys are on equal footing. But she perceives you as an “8″ so now you’re just a douchebag.

As I was starting out, I made this mistake many many times. Deep down, I really believe I am a 10, but there are times when I am not feeling it and I feel like a “5.” These are the times when I am really questioning my core confidence, and so instead of going into an interaction feeling great and positive, I would bring girls down. But they perceived me to have higher value than them, and I would “neg” or I wouldn’t qualify, and I would ruin an interaction.

This is a problem that plagues newbies left and right as they try to figure out their own style of game, and what works for them.

It’s not very difficult to understand where you stand, you just have to be a little more observant of your environment. If there are girls that you consider to be “8’s” that are opening with ease, kino-ing you, responding to you easily, it’s likely these girls perceive you to be higher value. If they aren’t, they likely perceive you to have less value. Just keep working on the girls you want, and eventually you’ll start seeing things happening much easier for you.

They say that the Tarot cards can tell you things about yourself. Of course, a lot of the fortune telling aspects of Tarot that attempt to predict the future are hocus pocus bullshit with little or no scientific validity. Nonetheless, each card in the deck is designed to speak to a universal archetype that anyone can relate to.

There are a lot of customized decks out there that deviate from the classic Roar-Waite style in one way or another. The particular deck I have replaced the Devil card with one titled “Obsession,” depicting a S&M-like scene with a nude blindfolded woman tied down to pentagram on the wall. When I first looked through my cards, I found myself most drawn to this card in particular. Was this simply because of my Dom/sub fetish, or was there something more to this?

I saw the movie, “The Prestige” for the second time today. The first time I saw it, which was when it was first released in theaters, I didn’t think of it like I’m thinking of it now. That movie’s all about obsession. For those of you who haven’t seen it, go watch it. It’s an excellent movie.

In The Prestige, there are two rival show magicians who are constantly trying to be more successful than the other. They are constantly trying to prove themselves as the “better” magician by messing up each other’s shows, stealing each other’s tricks, etc. A huge theme than ran along with the theme of obsession was the idea of sacrifice. Each of the two magicians had to sacrifice a lot for their art. One of them lived his entire life in a lie and the other even ended up killing himself about 100 times (watch the movie). They each gave up a part of their humanity for obsession.

While watching The Prestige today, I couldn’t help but to relate to one of these guys very strongly. I looked back at my life these past six or seven months, back from when a very dramatic rivalry sparked between me and one of my former pickup students. He was literally the best student I had, yielding more results than I, and then he stabbed me in the back. “Spin.” What an appropriate PUA name he chose for himself. I removed him from my inner circle.

For many months after that shit show in October of 2007, I fell into obsession and literally thought of nothing but becoming better than him. It made me push myself in some good ways, but slowly I was chipping away at my psyche and at my humanity. It forced me to challenge and even disown some morals I had previously held. It made me start smoking. It made me criticize myself in ways that hindered me rather than drive me forward. It brought me to the study of NLP, something we in my inner circle regarded as the “dark side” of pickup. Of course, I see NLP and Speed Seduction in a more positive light nowadays, but nonetheless the motivation I was driven by to this discipline wasn’t noble.

And, on top of this obsessive path of self-destruction I’ve taken, I bear the burden of guilt. Guilt for having created a monster. This guy doesn’t exactly have the best intentions, and I was blind to his negatives, despite the endless warnings from my peers.

I don’t know where I’m at with this whole obsessive rivalry ordeal right now. Of course, I’ve cut off communication with him, so I don’t really know what to compare myself to, so I’ve certainly calmed down a bit. However, how would I react if I saw what his current standing was in pickup? And, would I still have the goal of becoming a mPUA if he didn’t exist? I either don’t know or I’m afraid to let myself know.

If it weren’t for the wise words of the gurus like David Deangelo (”Compare your progress and success only to yourself”) that I at least claim to vehemently apply to my life, I would have let this whole obsession thing spiral my life down to a complete catastrophe. However, I cannot proudly say for certain that I have lived congruently with these excellent Inner Game values. I must concede that, as a mortal human being, I am not perfect. In fact I am far from perfect. I must become better. At least better than him. No, wait, I mean “better than where I’m at now.”

Sigh.

-Chief