Pickup Blogs

CURRENT JOB:
I’m curently working as an audio transcriber. It pays like 11 or 12 an hour, and I do it 4 hours a day if I’m working that day. If I work a full week (rare), I make just over 200. I can’t work a full week, because I lose my mind doing this job. It’s painful, and evil.

PROBLEM:
The main problem is that I simply don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life for a career. I’ve been temporarily interested in everything from concert pianist to hip hop producer, salesman, small business entrepreneur, and I’m sure the list WOULD continue were I not DECIDING right now to make a choice in my life and go for it.

It’s becoming apparent to me that it’s CRUCIAL I get a job/career that I LOVE, because I’m growing increasingly more frustrated with my work, my quality and quantity of transcription is decreasing daily, and I spend more time grinding and getting mired in my own situation. Also, I believe that my life overall is not good enough for me to be picking up women.

I know that you don’t have to love your life, your job, or whatever to pick up women. One day I will subconsciously realize that (probably once I have righted this wrong). In the meantime, my frustration with the direction of my life is useful and important. I can use this frustration to build something for myself.

FAILURES:
I have tried countless times to get a fresh start, ‘commit’ to doing things, big and small, to amend the situation. My commitments almost always fail, and my starts are unerringly stale every time. I feel like a sucker. I never stop trying, yet I constantly give up when it means taking action. I would be 100X happier if I TRIED every time and simply failed, because that would mean I’m not a quitter, which is how I feel when I don’t approach, don’t do my work, don’t fulfill some promise to myself or others, etc.

IDEAS:
I hold myself accountable only to my blogs and my thoughts. I can involve other people, even in the most simple of obligations until I am on my way. That would be best. I should include people in my life decisions, esp. my dad, with whom I’m living. That could provide some real leverage, because I really don’t like being lectured or scolded by him on my obligations.

I have another post to make on my other blog. I’ll come back and revise this later

i sarged till my feet hurt. I walked for maybe 3 hours, opened maybe 3 or 4 girls. Nothing too impressive. The girls always seem to get nervous and want to get away from me. I think I’m smiling, so that should be defusing most of the creepy. I’m not really sure where I’m going wrong, but every set is filled with lots of nervousness (mostly from them). I freaked out pre-approach, wandered for 5-10 minutes talking myself up, finally approached crashed and burned on a goddamned 5 in the Coop. What the fuck!

Anyway, my sets are not good. I’m not a normal person or something. Maybe 70% of the responses I’m getting SHOULD be pinging to me that I am a weirdo and socially unacceptable. Thank god I don’t care and don’t live in a tribe. I am at the point of conversational normalcy, IMO, although there’s some subcommunication that isnt coming out right. I will look into it.

The possible reasons are:
-personal space: I don’t really violate this much lately
-smiling: I don’t consciously think if I’m smiling or not, I might not be
-Awkward pauses: I have them because my mind is constantly blanking

I’m not great at picking apart my interactions, because I’m fully immersed in the nervousness and emotions of trying to be a cool person. It takes all my faculties to keep up conversationally and to be witty.

Also, I don’t give myself permission to be as interesting as I could be, because I don’t feel that I have a life worth talking about, as untrue as that may be. Haha damnit. Everybody else I know has sticking points emanating from their outer game (which, ironically, probably has some minimal basis in their inner game). Point being, I’m sabotaging myself because in my mind, beautiful and interesting women have no place in the life that I am living. Perhaps a lot of this is created by societal bullshit about financial success, etc. But as it stands now, I don’t have a life I’m passionate about, and I don’t want to share the life I’m living with others. Whew.

When I started this blog, it was going to be about pickup. I read other guys’ blogs and they would often extend their posts to other things like career, friendships, etc. I wanted to compartmentalize it. That’s a mistake.

Here’s something interesting. My mom asked me today what I would do if I had any amount of money. It’s a good question, but my mind blanked. I wanted to travel, but had no specific destination in mind. I eventually answered that I would go to the Siberian Steppes and meditate, because it sounds like a really cool time.

It’s a good answer, but what was scary was the blankness in my mind when she asked about future plans. Even thinking about future plans fills my mind with self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and a cloud of negativity. I always switch topics when people ask me what I want to do for a job, or where I want to be in a few years. That stuff is scary.

I’m about to put up a post detailing my careerhood.

Solidscore asks:
Hey V,
I recently found your website and I’m really intrigued by your 50 woman “wanna fuck” challenge. I’ve had some pretty good success with women lately, but when I was reading how that experience affected you, I felt like there’s something that you gleaned from the experience that I’d really benefit from. Soooooo, I’ve [...]

Jason Hobbs asks:
I read through some of your blogs and really enjoyed them. The short of
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I’ve got some exciting news!

Brad sold pick-up-artist-forum.com to Richard La Ruina, aka Gambler, of PUA Training. We’ve got a lot of new things planned for the future of PUAF with the new leadership. Mr. La Ruina has also made me a Site Administrator, and I’ve already set a lot of things in motion to make the forum better and higher-quality.

I also recorded an interview I did with a natural today and it shall be available on the website shortly.

Anyway, I was having a conversation with one of my pledge brothers today and he was asking me why I do this whole pickup thing.

I remember when I first started liking girls. I was really young – second grade. My first crush was this blonde girl named Jessica, and that’s all I remember about her. From that early age I started developing a deep appreciation for feminimity and for both the pain and joy it brings to my life. I learned to really love women. Seriously, I love women to death now. I think they’re the most beautiful creations on the face of this planet, physically, mentally, spiritually. I am grateful for pickup; it showed me how to express my appreciation for such beauty without being a creeper lol.

My pledge brother was under the impression that I saw women as objects, and he brought it up when I was comparing pickup to a hobby that he liked to do, swimming.

I told him that, like pickup, the reason a swimmer would continue swimming after he had achieved all he wanted to achieve (mastering the discipline, winning trophies and competitions, etc.) would be because he simply loved to swim.

“OK, so if pickup is to women as swimming is to water, wouldn’t that mean you’re treating women as things?” he asked. By his logic, water is a thing, and according to that analogy, a woman would also be a thing.

I poured my heart out when I replied, connecting to that part of me that really felt a loving passion for the female half of our species, “No. Even though I’m not a swimmer, I can imagine that if I were a swimmer who was really passionate about swimming, I wouldn’t see water as a thing. I’d look out into the ocean and I wouldn’t just see WATER. I’d see a partner. Every droplet of water that touches my skin when I’m moving through that ocean would be a little taste of enlightenment. And I would feel on a gut-level that the ocean was actually HAPPY for me to swim in it.”

“Touche.”

-Chief

I ran across this last week and bookmarked the website. In Japan, the name give to someone that is extremely anti-social is hikikomori. About 80 percent of the hikikomori are male, some as young as 13 or 14 and some who live in their rooms for 15 years or more. A japanese company has come up idea to sell to this niche market and it very simple, cute girls staring right at you.

Some people say it’s weird, it a fab, or wtf? But I think it is pretty cool. It is actually a tool that I think every social artist should take advantage of (at least the free videos). It’s kinda like Carlos Xuma’s, “Stare down the Bunny” exercise.

You can check it out here (It’s in Japanese, just click on the videos that have an eye icon): Just Looking

John McCain may have blown himself out of the Presidency.

Obama is too popular. Obama is a celebrity. Whine..whine…whine.

John McCain has a great story to tell. His life is a DHV, but instead he chose to be a whiny chode.

I can’t wait until this election is over.

In October of last year, my life completely changed. My friends/business partners betrayed me in a business that we had spent three years building and I lost a lot of money. However, I did not let that stop me, I just kept plowing along. I quit a job that I hated because I was only doing because I was making a sacrifice my business partners. I started another small business and picked up clients so there was no large disruption in my life, well at least not a relatively large disruption in life. There were some scary and hard times, but I continue to plow through it.

My personal life was going fine. I was making new friends, meeting local SLA guys, meeting and dating some great women. And to simply put it, just having fun.

Yet, there was something missing and I really could not put may hand on it. I just continue my pursing building a new business and enjoying my social life. Sunday, I was pulling out a suitcase for trip I’ll be taking next week and a notebook fell out. It was my SLA notebook so I paged through it. I re-read my identity section and I realized what I wrote nearly a year ago about who I was and where I wanted to be, was completely different from who I am today and where I’m heading now.

For the past two days, I have been slowly re-writing my identity statement and goals. It has been a great exercise in finding out who I am, what I want to be, and where I want to be in the near future. I recommend that everyone should do this and should do it often. I really think I should have looked at this right after October; it would have saved me some time and angst.

…and running won’t even do you any good. It’ll only exhaust you.

I’m currently experiencing some domestic turbulence within my own household right now, and it’s reminding me of a very important life lesson. Try as you might, but you can’t fucking hide shit from the world, especially not from the people that are actually involved in your life.

Go ahead and try. Go ahead and go out in-field and say cocky and funny lines without actually having cockiness and humor as a part of your genuine personality. Go ahead and tell a story about saving your stripper ex-girlfriend from some chodes chasing her around when in reality you’re a virgin who’s never had a girlfriend. Go ahead and ask for a woman’s opinion on something without actually caring about what her opinion is. Go ahead and try lying to people like that, but you won’t succeed in convincing anyone of anything other than the absolute truth. Sure, once in a while you can TRICK someone into believing your lies, but somewhere down the road you’re running on, you’re going to trip and fall flat on your face… and who knows what kinds of debris will be on the ground of that road? The face you must show to the world may be forever scarred from glass and hot coals.

Pickup isn’t about tricking anyone into anything. It’s about becoming that awesome guy you’ve always envisioned yourself to be. You’ll be attracting women left and right because you’ll be expressing your genuine best self, not because you’re hiding behind a mask. You’ll be attracting as a result from giving that loving energy out to the world since you’ve got plenty of that feeling for yourself.

Being honest is a very scary thought, I know, but it isn’t so scary when you’ve hit that point of becoming proud of yourself for something inside you, and not for something you’ve done or anything else outside of you. Sure, it can still be scary at times, but then there’s that confidence that automatically comes with that pride of self-validation. Once you dive into the pool of honesty, it doesn’t seem so scary anymore.

Most people look at PUA methods like the Mystery Method or the Speed Seduction process and see that as an opportunity to manipulate others into thinking you’re something that you’re not. Fucking stop that. I look at PUA methods and see an opportunity to express my core intent in an artistic manner. Pickup is an opportunity to express what’s on the inside because that’s basically what any ART is. That’s what the “A” in PUA fucking stands for: Artist.

You’re not going to make it by faking it. You have to develop your mentality and lifestyle through discipline and hardcore life experience until you reach a point where you can see yourself as “beautiful on the inside,” as cheesy as that sounds. Only then can you really use Outer Game models in pickup to successfully pick up. Pick up yourself, your life, then pick up chicks. That’s when you’ll feel like you have some real control over your love life.

Hiding behind a mask is only going to give you a long laundry list of problems you’ve never imagined before. Let go of that ego and reveal your true self. Once you’ve done that, you’re fucking free to move in whatever direction of change you wish to go.

-Chief