Justin asks:
Hi V,
I wanted to ask you – what is your approach to the game?
I wasn’t sure of the right way to phrase this question, so I will elaborate. When/where/how do you meet women? What are your ideal situations for approaching women?
For instance, I might see guys run into traffic to cross a street because [...]
Some of you may be aware that Tyler Durden is leaving real social dynamics and is retiring from The Game. He will be teaching self help to both men and women. I’ve never met Tyler in person, so I only know what I’ve read in The Game, seen on youtube, and read on various PUA [...]
“Can texting be used to seduce?”
This is a question that I am asked on numerous occasions by students, and my answer is that it’s what you do in the interaction that is important, and that’s what she will remember.
The fact is that all interactions are unique, and in some cases you may have had [...]
Ean B. asks:
Hey V,
I’m another fan of your website. I was just wondering, what’s your take on meeting girl friends online?
I have a more specific example. Truth is, I’m only 15. I’m trying to get the art down early so I am an experienced pick-up artist by the time I hit college, when it’s really [...]
Got fired from my job today. Oh well.
Maybe I’ll do something cool this time around.
Here’s some heavy stuff.
When I was in middle school, I was depressed. It was pretty bad. I thought nobody in the world could ever really care about me. In turn, I didn’t give a damn about anyone, myself, the world, whatever. I saw life through a narrow pessimistic scope. I saw myself as worthless, useless, and also as a victim. I had no faith in humanity or its potential to love. I remember one time I was sitting at my desk, reaching for the nearest long sharp object I could grab hold of. It was a foot-long pair of scissors and I held the sharp end against my neck. Fuck writing a note or a last letter; I didn’t give a shit. I was sitting in front of my computer because that’s where I usually was. I was pretty withdrawn and not very social, which explains why I would just be in front of the computer a lot, but of course I had that secret desire to be able to have fun and be social with others, so I was logged onto AOL Instant Messenger. By sheer coincidence, right as I was about to escape by shoving those scissors through my throat, a window pops up. It’s an Instant Message from one of my female friends, Emily.
Emily was the type of girl who was just naturally happy and joyful, and she had the habit of doing something that pickup artists call “giving value,” or just sharing the feeling of love and positivity with others. She just randomly IMed me with “I love you!” out of the blue. At the time I just thought it was a sign from God (I used to be Christian) that He wanted me to continue living, that He had some sort of plan for me, so I put the scissors down. As a Zen Buddhist and as a “pickup artist” now, I look back at that and see something else, something more. I had no faith in humanity. I didn’t think anyone could genuinely care about other people. Emily, though, loved and cared about everyone in her life. She saw friends as family and strangers as friends. She would not hesitate to go out of her way for the sake of helping others. I see humanity as a whole very differently now. I know the potential for human beings to love each other, to live a life of compassion, mostly because I can now see that potential within myself. In my life’s journey since that day with the scissors, I think I have become one of these kinds of people, or at least I am striving to become one. I think that’s just beautiful.
I think every pickup artist MUST develop this positive habit. RSD talks about giving value. As much as I hate to quote him, Mehow talks about giving value. Mark Redman, the relatively new guru on College Game who automatically subscribes you to a “Mastermind Program” by taking money from your bank account monthly without giving enough warning ahead of time when you buy his ebook, refers to it as “giving love.” Plenty of pickup companies nowadays are catching on because the habit of giving value is an extraordinarily attractive trait.
I think that the GENUINE habit of giving value is rooted in the feeling of compassion. I believe that all human beings are naturally compassionate. To have compassion for others, one must understand others. To understand others, one must understand himself. Some people have great difficulty in expressing their compassion because they allow themselves to be blinded by ego. Now, where did this ego come from?
When a man isn’t self-aware, he allows his ego to creep up to compensate for the metaphorical wounds he has suffered from early on in his life. This is practically unavoidable, unless the man has had a perfect childhood. We usually call those guys “Naturals,” by the way. Not to say that ALL Natural pickup artists have been raised flawlessly, of course.
The ego disallows us from accepting reality as it is, which in turn disallows us from taking the right actions toward positive change. For example, our ego tells us to stay in our comfort zone by telling us that we are “good enough,” when in reality we want to IMPROVE. A man can let his ego tell him that doing cold approaches isn’t his “style.” A man can let his ego tell him that he doesn’t need to read a book on pickup or relationships because he is above doing things like that. A man can let his ego tell him that he doesn’t need to challenge himself by moving onto level 2 because he’s already good at level 1. Ultimately, the ego makes us closed-minded.
A man does have the ability, however, to muster enough self-control to tame his ego. Trust me, Buddhists do it all the time. It takes humility to hold an empty cup, but it’s easy to have humility when you can admit to yourself that you are currently not the best man you could possibly be, but you are striving to become your best self. As my friend RedpoleQ once said, “A man isn’t what you are. A man is what you become.”
Once someone lets go of ego, it becomes easy to practice non-resistance. I learned from RSD’s Blueprint program that resistance is actually an emotion we feel. Once we accept reality for what it is by NOT letting ourselves feel resistance (come on, we’re men so we can control our own emotions), we can allow ourselves to take the right actions to change our very reality. To me this is like an amazing 2-step program that can solve any problem. First, you accept yourself and reality. Then, you take right action to change yourself and reality.
All of this leads to a greater sense of self-awareness, which leads to a greater sense of understanding, which leads to an unlocking of your naturally compassionate nature, which leads to an unlocking of your natural habit of giving love and value, which leads to attracting more people, *cough*which leads to you getting laid*cough*. All of this makes you a better person in the end, which allows for a greater opportunity in leaving everyone you interact with better than you found them.
Imagine a world full of compassion and positive energy like that. Wow, right? And it all starts with you.
Chris C. asks:
awesome stuff on your site first off. I read, watch and listen to seduction material every single day.I’ve made progress yet….I still don’t approach, sarge or talk to women. I have very low self esteem and although I feel that I have made progress it’s not enough to get me talking to [...]
Today I finally decided to get off my lazy butt, and just walk around town.
It was lovely. I found all sorts of new places and things to try.
I ate lunch at a nice restaurant, and just sat outside in peace reading my books.
Instead of sitting at home BS’ing on my computer, I’m going to spend as much time as I can outside while it’s still nice. Who knows, I might meet a cutie around town 
I came out to my mom about pickup. Kind of. She didn’t seem to curious about it, but I mentioned that I probably spend 10-15 a week ‘meeting women.’ Beyond that, I didn’t go into the community or sarging or techniques or whatever. But, at least that’s off my chest.
BradP wrote a sweet post on mASF about how learning should be more regimented, and not a massive influx of information which is followed by paralysis by analysis- in other words, the recall of the PUA isn’t great enough to process all the information he has in the field. I guess I really am constantly reading new stuff about pickup, and it’s not helpful because a lot of it isn’t practically useful for me RIGHT NOW. I definitely came into the scene soaking up every last bit of knowledge without applying it.
Anyway, it’s getting colder, and you know what that means. It means that I won’t want to go out as much. So, either I will spend less time in field, or I will become more hard-assed about going out. I f-in hate the winter, and almost surely have SAD. If only I lived in San Diego or Maui, where those kind of considerations aren’t really necessary. Clouds, grey skies, and precipitation always dampen my mood. A clear June sky with temperatures in the 70’s is gauranteed to put a smile on my face. I love it.
You know what else I love? I love slim half-asian girls. I’m talking SLIM and I’m talking half-Japanese. That is SWEEET and I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. Hahaha weird.
I’m withholding the hand for 5 days, starting a 5-day cycle program to keep my aggressiveness, intent, and overall HulkSmashness at peak. My life seems to be better when I moderate that shit. The first cycle ends on Sunday night.
Jamie asks:
hi there i was wonder which books are good to get i am after a few things such maybe a book of tricks or mind test and nlp i was thinking something a bit like Darren brown any good recommendations Jamie
First I’d suggest you focus on learning grammar and spelling. What good is [...]
