It seemed like the last one of these that I dis was well received so I’ve decided to continue doing them. However I need long detailed field reports to break down, so send me some and if they’re good I’ll break them down and post them on the blog.
Here is the field report in it’s entirety if you’re interested in reading it and trying to look for things that were done right and that could have been improved upon. My breakdown is at the bottom.
My Current State
Since around January 17, 2008 I have been out gaming 3 nights a week (Thurs, Fri, Sat) without missing a single weekend. Because of this strict schedule, I’ve neglected most of my social circle of NC friends and relegated them to the occassional dinner Wednesday night.
This past Thurs, I hit a plateau in my PU development.
My openers might hook, but everything else after feels like I’m reaching/trying to get a result, get the girl laughing, get the set going on another 5 minutes, get her validation that my “skills” are still intact etc.
I realized it’s b/c I’ve really wanted to make a career move and have felt guilty about going out 3 nights/week, not investing time into my “career.” Man, who knew a concern like that could fuck with your game?
Friday night, same thing. No numbers. I get 1 make out w/a girl but she was drunk and doesn’t count. I’m thinking “wtf, I’ve been so dedicated for the past 6 months and this is what I have to show for it? Gahh.”
Social Circle Night: Saturday at the Tam
Saturday is here. Thank God. I have a shot at redemption.
Have you ever been to the Tam? I’d never choose that place as a venue…well, here goes:
I txt my regular wings and they all seem to have something else going on. When my best friend (NC) tells me that he’s coming over with our friends and that I should def. join them for dinner, I think “What the hell, I’m plateauing why not spend one evening w/my friends.”
The five of us finish dinner and decide to go clubbing at the Roxy. One of our friends is a lesbian and it’s supposed to be lesbian night. I’ve never gone to a gay/lesbian night so I figure I’d try it. Except when we get there, there’s seriously like 100 guys in line and not a female in sight. haha. Since our intent had been to help her meet someone new, we decide to bounce and end up at – you guessed it, the Tam. This is the diviest of dive bars you can get. I am SO not used to this.
My first set: 45 year old woman, HB4, HB7.
Me: (tapping the 45 yr old’s shoulder) “Hey, quick question for you what’s the back of your shirt say?” I turn her around so I can read it.
45W: “Oh, we did a bar crawl today to raise money to find a cure to this disease. I can’t remember the name of it.”
Me: “Ah, ok cool. Yeah, I saw that the first place you went to was Bell in Hand. That’s my fav. place in Fanueil.”
45W: “Yeah, started really early. 1PM. But we’re still goin’ at it.”
Me: “That’s awesome you’re still having fun. [transitioning and turning to HB7] But I’m not sure about you…Actually you look pretty bored. *smirk*” This was the truth, she did not seem like fun at all.
HB7: “Yeah, I had to wake up at 6 this morning for work.” Man, this girl had a thick Boston accent and was not interactive. She was cute, however, so I decided to plow.
I get her qualifying herself to me, and I plow for another 5-10 minutes but realize it’s going nowhere if she’s not investing. I end up talking to the 45W who was surprisingly a more interesting conversationalist.
Second set: HB Blonde 7, Guy
Because I had been very social, I caught the attention of HB7 who was at a table adjacent to where we were standing. The guy gets up to get a drink, I get bored w/my set, and we make eye contact so I say to myself “Ok, I’m goin’ in.” Holding the eye contact, I advance 3 ft and go in.
Me: “Hey, you have a sparkly shirt. What’s it say?” (this seems to be my default opener of the night, haha)
HB7: [coyly] “It says Angel”
Me: “haha. Riiiight. That’s almost never the case.”
HB7: *giggle* “Yeah, you’re right.”
Me: “You know, you’re not from around here are you? The reason I ask is b/c I’ve only been here once, every time I come I think most of these ppl HAVE to be out of towners. I mean, I don’t think many ppl who live in Boston would come here.”
HB7: “Actually I’m from here. I come here at least once a month. How about you? *smile*”
Me:”Me? I usually hang out in Faneuill Hall or Allston, but tonight my friends and I came out to the city and we decided to stop in real quick for a drink.”
Banter. Banter. I decide to keep things friendly and fun with her, but I do zero kino. The guy hasn’t returned and I have no idea how they know each other.
When the guy finally does return, I notice that he doesn’t take his seat. Almost like he’s leaving it to me? Instead, he stands looking away at the TV screen, playing with his phone for a bit, and then eventually talking 45W who I opened earlier. Ok, so I start the kino.
In short, I end up talking to this girl for around 20-25 minutes. Turns out she’s a Camp Director for children. I can tell she has tremendous positive energy and just a good outlook on life in general. We go on to talk about how nature can have a positive influence on personal growth and development, and how as a kid growing up near nature allowed me to become introspective.
Me: “Oh, so do you go anywhere else besides the Tam? Do you like to dance?”
HB7: “I loooove to dance but my friends aren’t really the dancing type so I don’t get to go as much as I used to.”
Me: “That’s too bad. I know there’s not to many places to go in ___ where you live, but that’s why I love living where I live. There’s a lot of good places to go.”
HB7: “Yeah, I really wish they were more up for dancing.”
Me: “Tell you what, my friends and I love goin’ out and dancing. You should tag along sometime. Do you have a phone?” (credit Saffron)
HB7: “hahaha. of course I do.” [reaches into bag to retrieve it]
Me: “Here let me call my number so I have it. Hmm…let me see, what should I save you as.”
HB7: “I’ll save you as ___ Tam *giggle*.”
Me: “Ok, I’ll save you as ___ nature girl.” She giggles.
Damn. I’ve been ignoring my social circle again. I’ve gone through 2 sets at the Tam, this one lasting a good 20 minutes. I stay in another 5 minutes or so and continue with comfort banter.
HB7 [eyeing the back of the room]: “Hey, I’m going to go the bathroom. I’ll be right back. Wait for me.”
Me: “You know actually I’ve been totally ignoring my friends. I’m gonna check in with them. I tell you what though, we’re only 5 feet away. You should come over and meet them later if you’d like.”
HB7: “Ok, cool.” *smiles*
I return to my friends. After she returns, my friends notice that the guy she’s with is still talking to 45W while she’s sitting alone bored. “Dude, she was totally into you you should go back and talk to her.”
I walk over to her and say “Hey, come here. Come meet my friends.” She lights up and comes over. She chats for a bit w/the group before my friends and I bounce, leaving her at the venue.
I learned:
-Damn, I guess I don’t have to be specifically do focused “sarging” to pick up girls. It’s become something I carry around with me at all times now.
-This was the most fulfilling conversation I’ve had in my 6 months of sarging, and it was a with a girl who wasn’t all that. I actually connected with her. It sorta makes me feel like what I’ve been doing normally is a lot of bullshitting haha.
Questions to be answered:
-So wait, in the 6 months of sarging I’ve done I had one of the best conversations with someone who doesn’t even make the top 10 in terms of looks? (I’ve been approaching a lot, lol) This almost doesn’t make sense to me. I still want that hot vixen to be the one I connect with haha.
Maybe it was the venue. Maybe it was my state. Only more sets will tell.
My breakdown.
My Current State
Since around January 17, 2008 I have been out gaming 3 nights a week (Thurs, Fri, Sat) without missing a single weekend. Because of this strict schedule, I’ve neglected most of my social circle of NC friends and relegated them to the occassional dinner Wednesday night.
This is something that I really feel there is no right answer to. When I got into pickup I lost a lot of friends because I was going out 7 days a week and I felt that they held me back. It sucked to lose them but I felt it was something I had to do at the time. I’ve made up with some of them since and others I haven’t.
At the end of the day you have to figure out how bad you want to get good at this and make some sacrifices. Trying to keep a balance is key but it’s much easier said than done.
This past Thurs, I hit a plateau in my PU development.
My openers might hook, but everything else after feels like I’m reaching/trying to get a result, get the girl laughing, get the set going on another 5 minutes, get her validation that my “skills” are still intact etc.
I realized it’s b/c I’ve really wanted to make a career move and have felt guilty about going out 3 nights/week, not investing time into my “career.” Man, who knew a concern like that could fuck with your game?
Friday night, same thing. No numbers. I get 1 make out w/a girl but she was drunk and doesn’t count. I’m thinking “wtf, I’ve been so dedicated for the past 6 months and this is what I have to show for it? Gahh.”
Your life really does affect your game. The best example is while Entropy lived on a couch for six months and his results decreased dramatically. I tell guys who come to me living in their parents basement and unemployed to handle the rest of their life before even thinking about meeting women.
Social Circle Night: Saturday at the Tam
Saturday is here. Thank God. I have a shot at redemption.
Have you ever been to the Tam? I’d never choose that place as a venue…well, here goes:
I txt my regular wings and they all seem to have something else going on. When my best friend (NC) tells me that he’s coming over with our friends and that I should def. join them for dinner, I think “What the hell, I’m plateauing why not spend one evening w/my friends.”
The five of us finish dinner and decide to go clubbing at the Roxy. One of our friends is a lesbian and it’s supposed to be lesbian night. I’ve never gone to a gay/lesbian night so I figure I’d try it. Except when we get there, there’s seriously like 100 guys in line and not a female in sight. haha. Since our intent had been to help her meet someone new, we decide to bounce and end up at – you guessed it, the Tam. This is the diviest of dive bars you can get. I am SO not used to this.
Those weren’t guys. Butch lesbians are often mistaken for ugly men, however they actually have vaginas.
My first set: 45 year old woman, HB4, HB7.
Me: (tapping the 45 yr old’s shoulder) “Hey, quick question for you what’s the back of your shirt say?” I turn her around so I can read it.
45W: “Oh, we did a bar crawl today to raise money to find a cure to this disease. I can’t remember the name of it.”
Me: “Ah, ok cool. Yeah, I saw that the first place you went to was Bell in Hand. That’s my fav. place in Fanueil.”
45W: “Yeah, started really early. 1PM. But we’re still goin’ at it.”
Me: “That’s awesome you’re still having fun. [transitioning and turning to HB7] But I’m not sure about you…Actually you look pretty bored. *smirk*” This was the truth, she did not seem like fun at all.
HB7: “Yeah, I had to wake up at 6 this morning for work.” Man, this girl had a thick Boston accent and was not interactive. She was cute, however, so I decided to plow.
I get her qualifying herself to me, and I plow for another 5-10 minutes but realize it’s going nowhere if she’s not investing. I end up talking to the 45W who was surprisingly a more interesting conversationalist.
I don’t really see anything wrong with this set. It’s good to see that you cut your losses and knew when to move on.
Second set: HB Blonde 7, Guy
Because I had been very social, I caught the attention of HB7 who was at a table adjacent to where we were standing. The guy gets up to get a drink, I get bored w/my set, and we make eye contact so I say to myself “Ok, I’m goin’ in.” Holding the eye contact, I advance 3 ft and go in.
Me: “Hey, you have a sparkly shirt. What’s it say?” (this seems to be my default opener of the night, haha)
HB7: [coyly] “It says Angel”
Me: “haha. Riiiight. That’s almost never the case.”
HB7: *giggle* “Yeah, you’re right.”
Good tease here
Me: “You know, you’re not from around here are you? The reason I ask is b/c I’ve only been here once, every time I come I think most of these ppl HAVE to be out of towners. I mean, I don’t think many ppl who live in Boston would come here.”
HB7: “Actually I’m from here. I come here at least once a month. How about you? *smile*”
Me:”Me? I usually hang out in Faneuill Hall or Allston, but tonight my friends and I came out to the city and we decided to stop in real quick for a drink.”
Banter. Banter. I decide to keep things friendly and fun with her, but I do zero kino. The guy hasn’t returned and I have no idea how they know each other.
Don’t be afraid to escalate because there was a guy in the set. Odds are he’s not dating her and if he is you’ll find out as soon as he returns and you can move on. Just being a touchy guy isn’t a problem but until you know the situation avoid sexual touching
When the guy finally does return, I notice that he doesn’t take his seat. Almost like he’s leaving it to me? Instead, he stands looking away at the TV screen, playing with his phone for a bit, and then eventually talking 45W who I opened earlier. Ok, so I start the kino.
Case and point. Glad you saw him not taking a seat as an opportunity to escalate.
In short, I end up talking to this girl for around 20-25 minutes. Turns out she’s a Camp Director for children. I can tell she has tremendous positive energy and just a good outlook on life in general. We go on to talk about how nature can have a positive influence on personal growth and development, and how as a kid growing up near nature allowed me to become introspective.
Me: “Oh, so do you go anywhere else besides the Tam? Do you like to dance?”
HB7: “I loooove to dance but my friends aren’t really the dancing type so I don’t get to go as much as I used to.”
Me: “That’s too bad. I know there’s not to many places to go in ___ where you live, but that’s why I love living where I live. There’s a lot of good places to go.”
HB7: “Yeah, I really wish they were more up for dancing.”
Me: “Tell you what, my friends and I love goin’ out and dancing. You should tag along sometime. Do you have a phone?” (credit Saffron)
HB7: “hahaha. of course I do.” [reaches into bag to retrieve it]
Me: “Here let me call my number so I have it. Hmm…let me see, what should I save you as.”
HB7: “I’ll save you as ___ Tam *giggle*.”
Me: “Ok, I’ll save you as ___ nature girl.” She giggles.
Damn. I’ve been ignoring my social circle again. I’ve gone through 2 sets at the Tam, this one lasting a good 20 minutes. I stay in another 5 minutes or so and continue with comfort banter.
HB7 [eyeing the back of the room]: “Hey, I’m going to go the bathroom. I’ll be right back. Wait for me.”
Me: “You know actually I’ve been totally ignoring my friends. I’m gonna check in with them. I tell you what though, we’re only 5 feet away. You should come over and meet them later if you’d like.”
Good job with the bathroom thing. I really like the way you handled the set so far. I just think you could be much more sexual and show more interest in set.
HB7: “Ok, cool.” *smiles*
I return to my friends. After she returns, my friends notice that the guy she’s with is still talking to 45W while she’s sitting alone bored. “Dude, she was totally into you you should go back and talk to her.”
I walk over to her and say “Hey, come here. Come meet my friends.” She lights up and comes over. She chats for a bit w/the group before my friends and I bounce, leaving her at the venue.
I’m not sure if you could have left your friends to go home with this girl but it seems like a really easy one night stand situation. She was there alone, lived in the area, and was into you. All around this seems like it could have been an easy pull.
I learned:
-Damn, I guess I don’t have to be specifically do focused “sarging” to pick up girls. It’s become something I carry around with me at all times now.
This is a good place to be in. The more natural game can become the better.
-This was the most fulfilling conversation I’ve had in my 6 months of sarging, and it was a with a girl who wasn’t all that. I actually connected with her. It sorta makes me feel like what I’ve been doing normally is a lot of bullshitting haha.
Usually the hottest girls aren’t the coolest. The best conversations I’ve had with women have been with 6s, 7s, and 8s. If you can find a really hot girl who you enjoy talking to them and the time you spend together outside of the bedroom she’s a keeper.
Questions to be answered:
-So wait, in the 6 months of sarging I’ve done I had one of the best conversations with someone who doesn’t even make the top 10 in terms of looks? (I’ve been approaching a lot, lol) This almost doesn’t make sense to me. I still want that hot vixen to be the one I connect with haha.
See above.
Maybe it was the venue. Maybe it was my state. Only more sets will tell.
This worries me. I really hate state based game and it’s a bad path to go down. You need to learn to be independent of your state and be able to game even if you feel down and shitty. Going out and just doing it regardless of what kind of mood you’re in is the easiest way to get over it.
